When I look back on the last week and a half, it’s really hard to put into words how grateful I am for the opportunity to be making a living doing what I love to do more than anything else. I know, I’m starting to sound like a Hallmark card… but it’s the reason that I haven’t written about the CD release show yet. There really are no words to describe the night – awesome, incredible, humbling, inspiring, exciting: these words come close, but they don’t quite grasp it. I’m truly at a loss. It all boils down to, once again, that feeling of gratitude – for the audience, for the musicians with whom I shared the stage, for the ability to express myself in a meaningful way, for friends who helped sell tickets and CDs, for finally having this CD on legs and walking among the living and breathing.
Same holds true for the gig I had tonight with JD over at Bear Bonz. We got together this afternoon here at the house to work on some his original tunes (and they’re pretty fantastic, too!) before heading out to Naples. It was a really quiet night, and I was feeling like I was in a bit of a funk, but JD said, “You know, Heather, I’m just psyched to have the opportunity to be here playing music with you, even if there isn’t a single other person here.” So with that sentiment in mind, I just let go and played and sang, and just for a little while, I was able to capture that same feeling that I had on stage at SMAC last week. To be able to connect with JD and be able to match every harmony and to sense where he was going next and vice versa – and for there to be any amount of appreciative people listening in and pickin’ up what we’re puttin’ down – well, all I have to say is that’s what is the most rewarding thing about being a working musician. It’s all about making connections – or like Joni sang, “getting them to feel like that.” Whether it’s 2 people or 200 people, when I let go of my inhibitions and just let the music find its way, nothing but good comes of it. It’s a very zen-like place to be – in the moment, eyes closed, fingers moving, voice singing, ears engaged.
Where all that just came from is beyond me. Maybe there’s a new song in it somewhere. But, for right now at least, I’m going to sit back and let the evening and this continuing opportunity to support myself in the most meaningful way possible sink in fully.
Simply put, I’m at a loss for words, even though I just typed over 450 of them.