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Do I have anything to add to this blank page?
I’m starting to think, as I age
that I don’t have as much to say—
and besides, it’s all been said anyway,
but I sure like to try!
And honestly, I’m not entirely sure why.
I suppose that the happy adult
that I appear to be now is the result
of the awkwardness I felt as a kid
that both enjoyed and hated stayin’ hid.
Back then, I could be awfully shy,
and I’d rather let every chance go by
to receive any sort of attention,
except when it was my intention
to play the piano for you or sing in the choir.
Now, that’s when I’d feel a real fire
in my belly—doing what felt so right and freeing.
And I didn’t even mind anyone else seeing
the love in my heart on full display,
so as long there was always a way
for me to hide my own voice in the crowd
and not ever, for a moment, be too loud.
I always felt safest sitting behind
a piano or a keyboard. I find
that I can say things there
that I find impossible to say anywhere
else. It’s still true at times, and I’m sure I’m not alone.
I suppose every creative person’s bones
are chock full of the same sort of marrow
as they navigate a path that is both painfully narrow
and wildly expansive. It’s a balancing act,
to find and stay on the right track…
Anyway, I have to say that I’m really glad
that I finally got over always feeling awkward and sad
when singing alone in front of a crowd.
Now you can barely shut me up—but I still try not to be too loud.
And at the end of the day, I don’t need
to understand any of it, really. Every seed
that is planted will eventually take root.
And if it doesn’t, it gets the boot—
that is to say, it’ll just add to the fertile ground
and hopefully ensure that the next go-around
will be built on something solid and true.
Well… I don’t know about you,
but, even though the way isn’t always clear
and I’ll eventually lose all that I hold dear,
and in the meantime struggle with writer’s block,
I say this: the time I get to spend on this rock
taking one stab after another at… whatever
is far better than staying quiet forever.